Saturday, December 24, 2011

a Christmas without the matriarch

 This Christmas has been great... but not great

At church this evening they said something along the lines of "Christmas is a magnifier, it magnifies the good times and the hard times".
This is our first one with out my precious, sweet, unforgettable Grammie who we lost back in August. Everything is weird, everything is different. And not in that "good different" kind of way. There is an empty seat at the table, no funny presents that say "To Grammie" under the tree, and the hardest one, my Papa is lost without his bride. 
I would be lying if I said I have had dry eyes at home, especially at our Christmas Eve service (that was just hard to get through). It's hard being here, I miss her, I see my Papa hurting so much, my mom needing her mom, and I can't help it. We keep saying we wish the rest of our family could be here. It would make it a little easier to get through this.
But with God, we will get through this.
These pictures were taken last year at Christmas.
 We never thought she wouldn't be at this years Christmas.
Never thought.
This Christmas is not the "good kind of different". But it is the way it is now. We thank God that we had so many past Christmases with he, and we are thankful that we have the rest of our family to celebrate with.

We continue to remember her life. 
Missing her and loving her.


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