Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Kardashians + Me = In the same room!

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter or have talked to me in the past 24 hours then you already know about the best day of my life yesterday.

But for those of you that don't (and even those that do) I'm going to give you the play by play of the day my dreams came true. I'm sorry I'm not sorry this is going to be so long.

It's no secret that I am a huge Kardashian fan. I believe that we live a few blocks away from each other here in Miami, yet I can't seem to get to their house. Dang gates. Whenever I'm driving in our hood, my eyes are always peeled for them. I can't live this close and not see them. 

Well friends. It happened. 

These are the days that I need a friend here. Doing this crazy stuff alone is tough work.

I woke up Monday morning to a tweet saying that the mayor of North Miami (the area we both are currently living) was having a ceremony for the Kardashians to give them the keys to the city at 11:30... 2 mile from me. Weird. But whatever.

What could be more important than this? Obviously, I was going to go. When does a girl from Oklahoma get to be apart of a key ceremony for the Kardashians? Never, that's when. This was my chance. I didn't know how I was going to get in, but I knew I was.

I was standing outside city hall when an older lady walked up to me looking for directions. She didn't speak very great English but I could tell that she was looking for city hall. Our conversation went like this... and imagine her speaking in a Haitian accent.

Her: The mayor told me to be here at 11:00.
Me: **thinking to myself.... the mayor is the one giving the keys. I need to be this ladies friend**
Her: I have to see the stars or something.
Me:**thinking to myself... the STARS. THE KARDASHIANS!**
Her: I just want to go home. I don't want to be here.
Me: Let's see where you need to go.... **thinking maybe she will let me be her +1...**

So I walk her inside and we find out she is supposed to go to the 2nd floor, and she waves bye at me and boom, she's gone. Bust. That was my in. So I'm onto plan B....

I see policemen and paparazzi and I think the paps... that's my way in.
So I started to hang around the paps acting like I had something else going on, trying not to seem to eager. When one of the guys from news channel something came over and said hi. I must have looked lonely... so I said to him and his little friends "I'm just going to hang around you guys so it looks like I'm doing something." 
Then one of the paparazzis said to me with this confused look, "Do you want to film on my camera for me?" 
I replied with, "Okay!"
He showed me how to work his camera, press record and then stop. Then he went and talked to the police man, came back and said "So you want to go upstairs?"
Now normally I would be careful getting into an elevator alone when the man asked me to go has a pony tail, is wearing his swimsuit as shorts and has a video camera. But for the Kardashians I take risks.

We go upstairs and walk right into the conference room that is not very big. Maybe 100 chairs.
We go stand at the back with all the other stalkers.
After maybe a minute here, my new friend, Frank, that's his name. Paparazzi Frank, asks if I want to sit closer.
Heck yes I do.

So we find some chairs and I'm freaking out because I'm 8 rows away from where my BFFs are going to be.
So then Frank decides he is going to leave the room and he gets up and goes.
But he left his camera with me. A stranger. 
I thought he was coming back, but an hour passed and still no Frank. 

So while I'm sitting there alone with some guys camera I start talking to the lady next to me. She is from England so has a cool accent and she is a fan of the girls as well. She told me that she heard on the radio that is was open to the public so she might as well go.

WHATT???? You mean I didn't have to help that old lady and make friends with the creepy paparazzi to get in? I could have just walked right in by myself?? I debated leaving that part out of the story, to make it sound cooler that I got in the room out of my awesomness alone, but I can't lie about the best day ever. It was open to the public, some fan I am, I didn't even know that!

Anyway... we were sitting there for a good 45 minutes before someone came and told us that we "would begin in about 20 minutes, oh and Khloe isn't going to be there anymore."
When they said this, half the people were like "Awww nooo" the other half made confusing faces and comments like "Who is Khloe? Who are these girls? Why am I here?" It was quite a mixed group.

While we were waiting one of the E! girls was going around having people sign release forms, I was one row too far back! UHHH. I WAS SO CLOSE to my second dream, being on E!. I should have pitched them my reality TV show idea.

I took a bathroom break and found Paparazzi Frank hanging outside in the lobby, I gave his video camera back and told him I needed to be focused.

When I got back it was go time. Sitting in our seats was the schedule of events for the day.
 Ya know, the Pledge of Allegiance, National Anthem, and a musical tribute. Normal key ceremony stuff.

 And finally... as I was in mid tweet the doors open and in they walk. And up everyone stood to take pictures and block my view.
They made us sit down and this is only one of the few times in life I wished I was taller and had long arms. 
I could see Kim pretty good through the chairs, except when that chick with the long curly interesting ombre hair would cut off my view. Dumb B.

I think what I loved the most was how bored Kourtney looked the whole time. And to be honest, it was boring. Except that the Kardashians were in front of me so I didn't pay attention to anything that was being said.
 Kim was sitting forward and Kourtney was all lounged back. It was awesome.

 Finally they were presented with their award and they took the podium. I had a much better view... and let me tell you, they looked like huamns. I don't know why I didn't think they would. But they did. They are humans.

I took a video, BUT this article has a much better video, and I believe you can hear me give a little whoop when Kourtney says that Khloe had to fly home for X-Factor... Also, in the video there is a policeman in the background, he plays into my story later (yes there is more).

So the girls give us their speech and they took a few photos and that was it.
And as fast as they were in my life, they were gone.

But the day keeps getting better.

On our way out the door my buddy Paparazzi Frank finds me and we have a conversation.

Frank: Have you ever thought about working with paparazzis. 
Me: I can't say I have. **thinking to myself... dream job, celebrity stalking**
Frank: You should consider working with me... (hands me his business card that has girls in bikinis on it) You don't look like a typical paparazzi, you just look like a normal person.
Me: Aww Frank, that's so nice!
Frank: I'm going to go find Madonna, I heard she was at beach if you want to come with me..
Me: That's so cool, but I need to go to the grocery store. **thinking to myself... I shouldn't get in a car with strangers, even if celebrities are involved**
Frank: Okay, well I'll email you some of the good pictures that I got.
Me: Frank you rock! Let's stalk celebs another time.

So Frank took off and I found myself in a food line.
Because of course there was a weird Thanksgiving meal after.

Kourt and Kim skipped out (good idea it was gross) but I don't pass up a free meal. 
 While I ate I continued to hang out with the lady I was sitting next to. She told me she would call me and I could babysit her kid. Bonding over the Kardashians really makes 2 people close, and clearly I must be trustworthy...

Also a policeman came up and ate at our table. The one in the video in the background. After telling him that I don't speed because I can't afford a ticket, he told me that if I got pulled over then I wouldn't get a ticket because I'm too little and cute.... his name was Jesus. 

After I ate my free meal, I left.
The happiest ever.

Rumor has it they are here for 1 more month. I need to call ol Frank and get the scoop.



Sami said...

Heidi!! I love this so much! It's such a great play by play and I really wish I lived in Miami so I could stalk celebs with you ;) I'm glad to hear they look like humans bc I wouldn't expect them to look normal either. Also boo to Khloe bc she's my fave too! Yay for you finally finding them.. Can't wait to see you on Kourtney and Kim Take Miami hahah

Valerie said...

"They are humans." Amazing.

Also, that HuffPost article says the room was filled with "celebrity gawkers"...that's you!

Kendra said...

This could very well be the best story I've ever heard.

Ashley said...

this is so. freaking. awesome. nice job!

Anonymous said...

This is the happiest story ever!!

Bethany said...

This is one of the weirdest stories I have ever read in my whole life. I love that you go to see the Kardashians! People are really trusting of you! Pretty sweet. Thanks for sharing the whole, wide, weird ordeal.

Bethany said...

This is one of the weirdest stories I have ever read in my whole life. I love that you go to see the Kardashians! People are really trusting of you! Pretty sweet. Thanks for sharing the whole, wide, weird ordeal.

Brittany said...

Absolutely hysterically awesome.